Johnny Knoxville Takes a Lie Detector Test

[snapping]

[Interviewer] Are you an insurance agent's

worst nightmare?

No.

What, does that sound true?

Okay you got me, I am.

[Interviewer] [beeping] Johnny,

we brought you here today to take a lie detector test.

I can't believe I [censored] agreed to do this.

[loud crashing]

It's like a bunch of torture devices.

You have a little button you push to electrocute me?

Only if you lie.

[sharp exhaling]

Well, it looks like I'm going to get electrocuted.

Okay.

[ominous music]

[Interviewer] Are you ready

to take this lie detector test?

Yes.

[ominous music] [electricity buzzing]

[loud banging]

[Interviewer] Let's start with your life.

[loud banging]

Is your real name Johnny Knoxville?

No.

[Interviewer] What's your real name?

Philip John Clapp.

[Interviewer] You've said that you came up

with your stage name

because you wanted to have a snappier name, correct?

Yes.

[Interviewer] What did you mean by snappier?

Well, I mean, PJ Clapps, not the...

doesn't exactly roll off the tongue.

You know, my last name's a venereal disease, so, you know.

It was even worse in high school

when I had a letters jacket

and I'd go to the mall and it had, Clapp, on the back.

Jesus.

[Interviewer] So based on your definition,

do you think your stage name is snappier than this person?

Oh wow.

This handsome devil.

No I'll give

The Rock

the snappier name.

I'm better looking, but he has the snappier name.

[Interviewer] What about this person?

Oh Ol' Dirty Bastard, man,

I'm giving it to Ol' Dirty Bastard.

Awe.

Love him.

[Interviewer] In, Jackass Forever,

you're shown getting your bald patch dyed.

My what?

Oh bald patch. Oh yes.

Sorry.

[Interviewer] Have you been dyeing your hair

for a long time?

Oh yeah, I've been doing it for years, sister,

until I let

this happen.

[Interviewer] Have you always been a vain person?

Oh yes.

Yeah. Get it from my mother.

[Interviewer] Is that true?

[Polygraph Examiner] The first part was true.

So is the second.

[Interviewer] Do you consider yourself a silver fox?

No.

That's not true.

[Interviewer] Do you think you're more of a silver fox

than this person?

[Johnny laughing]

Well he's still piercing that ear.

Yeah no, he's a handsome devil.

I'm okay, but he's like a handsome devil.

[Interviewer] And what about this person?

Ooh no, no, that's a hunk.

That's a hunk.

[Interviewer] Let's talk about some injuries.

Okay. During a stunt

for, Jackass Presents:

Mat Hoffman's Tribute to Evil Knievel,

you tore your urethra,

do you think that injury would've impressed him?

I don't know.

He was tricky.

He would've probably taken the stance

that I had no business on that bike and what am I doing?

And I don't think he would've been impressed.

I remember the one time, it was a ESPN award show

where they were giving a lifetime achievement award

to a certain number of people

and Mat Hoffman was one of the people.

And so they asked me and the, Jackass, guys

to give the award to Mat

and Evel Knievel was there.

The guys were on their worst behavior that night.

We walked out on stage to present the award

and someone kicks Wee Man from behind

and he skids across the stage on his stomach

and Pontius has stripped down to nothing but his belt

and he walks out on stage

and he's doing a helicopter with his gym dog.

Our friend Kris Navako was on stage with us

and he was puking the whole time.

I was trying to hold it together going,

Well you know, Mat Hoffman means to me...,

and we got cut out of the show

and they said someone said that

Evel Knievel was upset the way we acted, so.

And I don't blame him.

[Interviewer] All right.

Is it true that you didn't let your daughter watch,

Jackass, when she was little?

I showed her like certain things

like where Wee Man was a Oompa Loompa

or something like that.

But as far as watching a whole movie with me, no,

that was, she was 14 and I made her sit next to me

and I had all of the bits in front of me

and they were marked and sometimes she had to close her eye,

sometimes she had to put her fingers in her ears

and sometimes she had to do both.

So none of my, I don't want any of my kids doing stunts

and I've had to tell my son that a lot.

[Interviewer] Is it because you're afraid

they'll be better than you?

No, no. I mean I'm pretty lousy, so,

it's not like, you know,

they're going to have to try too hard to be better than me.

But no, I don't want my kids getting hurt.

[Interviewer] You said that you had to tell your son

not to do stunts?

Yes.

[Interviewer] Has he obeyed that?

For the most part, yeah,

he's pretty excitable, but for the most part, yeah.

[Interviewer] So you're not hoping to have a,

Jackass, legacy?

No. No.

[Interviewer] Let's move on to your career.

[loud banging]

You've had a long acting career

with a lot of credits to your name, is that correct?

I don't know.

You know,

done okay.

[Interviewer] Is it safe to say

that your proudest acting accomplishment

was your role in, Coyote Ugly?

[Johnny laughing]

Yes.

[Interviewer] Do you actually do

all of your own stunts in films?

Oh when I get on a regular Hollywood movie

they don't want me to do any of my stunts,

except for I did something with Jackie Chan and...

But I would, he let me do like every one, except for one.

I didn't even go to the director,

I just go, Jackie, can I do this?,

and he's like, Yep.

I love Jackie Chan.

But in, Jackass, yeah, there's no stunt doubles.

[Interviewer] Are you an insurance agent's

worst nightmare?

No.

What, does that sound true?

Okay you got me, I am.

[Interviewer] Have you ever been denied coverage?

Yes.

At the end of the, Jackass, TV show,

I think we lost all our insurance,

so that wasn't great.

I think we were uninsurable at that point, so.

[Interviewer] Was being hospitalized after the bull stunts

your most expensive injury?

Hmm.

I honestly don't know. Um.

I'm trying to think all of them and

how many times I'd have to go back to different doctors.

I don't know the answer to that one.

My concussions are probably my worst injuries.

I did have a blowout fracture

of my left eye once where

it popped out and I had to go back in.

That happened a couple times.

Once in the bathroom

and then another time

when I was walking around with Pontius.

With the injury I had, the blowout fracture,

I wasn't supposed to sneeze for like six weeks or something

and I'm like, I have allergies...

But I was walking around with Pontius

and he said something funny

and for whatever reason I went...

I grabbed my nose and went...

Like the [indistinct] was like dunk. So.

No, no, it doesn't come out that far, it just...

It's like a little pest Marty Feldman.

[Interviewer] What's the most painful injury

you've endured?

You know, like the concussions

are bad and the breaks are,

you know, not so fun.

But the worst pain that I felt, I think,

is like the pep, when I got...

It doesn't sound like it would be but the pepper spray.

I hated that.

It's like someone lit a fire in your eyes

and put it out with kerosene for 20, 30 minutes.

I didn't like that.

So. But I'm sure there's more painful things.

But that was very, that was up there.

[Interviewer] Your co-host on, Prank Panel,

is this person.

Were you a fan of his antics before you worked together?

Yeah, no, Eric's great.

Yeah we're lucky to get him on that show.

Poor guy, he had a tough first week.

[Interviewer] He tried to quit the show.

No he didn't try, he quit three times.

The last time I had to beg him,

Okay I won't do anything.

I won't prank you anymore.

I really hadn't started going at him that hard yet

but I think, you know, on his show, no one goes after him

and I think he's used to being the hammer and not the nail.

So it was different for him and I don't think he liked it.

[Interviewer] Was Eric your favorite guest cameo

on, Jackass?

Now that is unfair. Yes, he was.

You're lying.

[Interviewer] Who was your favorite guest cameo

on, Jackass?

I love them all.

[Interviewer] Let's talk about pop culture.

[loud banging]

Is it true you were once offered a spot as a cast member

on, Saturday Night Live, but you turned it down?

Well they were going to offer me about

five minutes each week to do something like a video piece.

At that time, Jackass, was...

The deal was finally getting done right,

but then it took a couple years

and so I had to choose between me going on my own

on, Saturday Night Live, was a very competitive show

or kind of bet on myself and my friends and

crazy move at the time, but I just bet on me and my friends.

It was a tough one.

[Interviewer] You're very popular in the WWE community.

Do you still have beef with this man?

This is not a man,

this is a boy. [picture crumbling]

Just a boy.

He's a punk.

[Interviewer] Who was better to work with,

the WWE wrestlers or your, Jackass, cast?

I love

working with the WWE,

especially when it's smashing Sami Zayn's face!

But I also love doing, Jackass.

Hopefully they can coexist together.

[Interviewer] Is it true that you were cast as a Ken doll

in a Tom Petty music video?

Yes and I was so excited,

'cause that's one of the first things I had gotten.

I think Phil Joanou directed and I shot it, it was so fun.

Tom Petty was great with everyone.

And then it comes out on MTV

and a girl I was waiting tables with

she goes, Oh, I saw the video, she goes,

The background, no one was in focus.

And I was like, What?.

And I watched it and it was, no one was in focus.

I was so heartbroken.

Ah good times.

[Interviewer] Do you think you should have

been asked to audition for the new, Barbie, movie?

No. No, no.

[Interviewer] So you wouldn't have played

a better Ken than this person?

No. Are you kidding?

Woof, hashtag woof.

Look at that guy.

[Interviewer] You've said

that you possess a lot of prick skills.

Yes.

[Interviewer] Are you a bigger prick than this person?

No this guy's the biggest prick I've ever met.

He is a real pain in the neck.

[Interviewer] Were you surprised

when the prosthetics were nominated for an Oscar?

No because I thought the guys did an amazing job.

I thought we should have won,

but we kind of hamstrung ourself because

Irving gets his gym dog stuck in a Coke machine

in the first five minutes

and so all the academy members,

academy members that were probably going,

Wow, that's really good makeup,

was like, This is trash and I'm turning it off right now.

Oh well, that's show business.

[Interviewer] Final question,

did you at any time during this test lie

and we didn't catch you? Yes.

Quite a bit.

That is true.

[Johnny laughing]

[loud banging]